


I Will Always Find You

by TrafalgarLaw



Category: Shadowhunters (TV), The Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare
Genre: M/M, Memory Loss, Model Alec Lightwood, Mundane Alec Lightwood, References to Other Fast Show Characters
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-01
Updated: 2020-08-01
Packaged: 2021-03-02 21:54:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,333
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24493822
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TrafalgarLaw/pseuds/TrafalgarLaw
Summary: A group of shadowhunters are going to grow in Idris. They are known as the cohort and they are against downworlders and people which are gay. To know that Alec is save from them Izzy, Jace and Magnus make a plan which is hurting them all. But this is only the beginning from something horrible which is going to start in the shadowworld and one day... they need a strong leader again. Can they hope that Alec will remember again who he is and for what he was always fighting?
Relationships: Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood
Comments: 3
Kudos: 9





	1. The Plan

**Author's Note:**

> I totally devote this fanfic a very good friend of mine who was helping me to create this idea and to pushed me to write this. She is also always pushing me to be better and I really love her. Gina, I hope you know that I really appreciate you a lot! And also I hope you like it.
> 
> And now... I hope you all are going to like this first chapter of this fanfic. And I try to upload the next chapter soon.

Chapter 1: A Plan

„We can’t do this. This can’t be the solution, Jace!“ Izzy was saying and her voice sounded like as she was going to think that they can find another idea because she so doesn’t like it. „You know that Magnus wouldn’t like it!“ She add and it felt as if her world was falling appart.

„I know. But you weren’t in Idris. You haven’t seen the hate and how it was getting worse then before. We need to save Alec.“ Jace gave Izzy the answer. And he also doesn’t like it. How much he wanted it that his brother and best friend was finally happy. But at what costs? In Idris it was getting worse and doesn’t matter how hard Alec was trying… he was running against a wall. And there was only this one decission they have to make… even if this was hurting him as well… And with this thought he was touching the parabatai rune on his hips…

It was hard for both young shadowhunters but they were going to Magnus to tell him everything. And their heart was already heavy at the moment.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

„Oh by Lilith… why can’t you shadowhunters make at least one appointment?“ Magnus was starting as he saw how both shadowhunter came in the loft. And even if he came of harsh right now… Jace and Izzy were always welcome at the loft. The warlock was starting to consider them as friends. But only because they were family from his boyfriend. „I was going to clean up this mess from a job I have to do for someone and then finish planning the weekend trip to Hong Kong with Alec. Whatever you both want… you better do it quick!“

Of course Magnus has already noticed the dark cloud over the head from Izzy and Jace and knew that something was going on. „Okay… don’t tell me that something is keeping Alec that busy…“

„Magnus… we need your help. It’s really urgent and it is for Alec.“ Jace was starting before Magnus was leading both to the couch into the living room. „Listen… Alec is more and more in danger. He doesn’t care because he loves you. But… there are these group of shadowhunters, who are spreading more hate against the downworlder…“

„Yes… I know them. Believe me… I was dealing with them more then once.“ The warlock mumbled and there was something like salt in his voice which showed that he doesn’t like those people.

„They have a name now… the cohort and it’s getting worse. They aren’t only against the people which are gay but also who are against downworlders and shadowhunters having a relationship with them.“ Jace continued before he took a deep breath.

„Alec would never tell this to anyone. But we know how much this is getting to him. And… he needs to be save from all of this.“ Izzy continued and was looking over to Magnus. It was hurting her to know that her brother will be always getting attacked.

„Wait… By Lilith… are you both are trying to tell me that I should break up with Alec?“ Magnus was asking slowly but on the inside he was shocked and it was totally heartbreaking. Because he knew that it was Izzy who was always supporting them both. But he also couldn’t do it because Alec was the best what he ever had and he felt never that good around anyone. Because somehow… the archer knew exactly what Magnus needed without even that he needed to say something out loud. Magnus hasn’t felt something like that for anyone in centuries.

„Magnus, no! That’s not what we want. Because Alec will be still known as gay and he will have it so hard with the clave. Jace and I were thinking a lot about it…“ Izzy was saying immediately. But she couldn’t say out loud what solution they actually had. Because it also broke her heart.

„Magnus… we need you for removing the memories from the shadowworld while we are going to strip of his runes…“ Jace said before he was clenching his jaw to push away his own emotions. And the blond male was hoping that Magnus knew that it will also hurt him and it also could break him, not having a parabatai anymore.

For a moment the warlock had no idea what to say because the whole topic was totally going to hurt him. Could it be that it was that bad in Idris right now? Why does Alec never say anything to him? Or was it because the younger male never wanted to worry him? „Oh Alexander…“ Magnus mumbled to himself before he shook with his head.

But before he could give another answer, this time tot he two shadowhunters in his living room, he made himself one of his very strong Martinis. He needed it right now otherwise he was going to explode. 

„So… you both think that it’s safer for Alec when he is living as a mundane without all his memory that he is a warrior and a leader…“ Magnus said slowly and was thinking about it. But also with memories about him and they both couldn’t be together anymore.

„Magnus… I know how hard it is. It’s also hard for me to not having a brother anymore who is going to annoy me with his saltyness… but we talk about Alecs life…“ Izzy whispered slowly and there was a single tear showing in her eyes. What let happen that Jace was taking her arm carefully to squeeze it a bit. 

All three knew that it was the best and they saw it in the eyes from the others as well. 

Until it happened that the door from the loft opened and all three were looking at Alec. Who was totally confused now about this situation which was shown right now. „Izzy? Jace? What is going on here?“ He asked slowly and had a very weird feeling right now.

„Alexander… we need to talk…“ Was the businesslike voice from Magnus saying to show that this topic which they needed to discuss was a very serious one.


	2. Changing Of A Life

Chapter 2: Changing of a Life

„No!“ Was the only answer from Alec after he heard the whole story from his friends. And with this single word he showed what he was thinking about this plan. „By the angels! I’m not giving up my life!“ He was adding and was getting angry as longer as he was thinking about it. He knew that this whole situation wasn’t easy at the moment but running away was never an option for him. 

But it was also more the fact that he thought that the situation in the clave was going better as soon as they all are going to see that the world was changing. But there was also a little voice in his head, which was getting louder again, that these hope wouldn’t come true with those shadowhunters which doesn’t want any change.

„Alec! Do you think we don’t worry about your life? That we doesn’t know that your life is in danger?“ Jace was saying and his look was more then serious at the moment. 

He wanted to say more but Magnus stopped him while he was raising a finger. Just to focus on his boyfriend. „Can we talk for a second? In private?“ But actually it wasn’t a question because he wasn’t waiting for it until Alec was replying to it. Instead he grabbed his arm and pulled him in the room, which one was the study from Magnus and which one was full with stuff which he needed for his potions.

„Why you haven’t told me what is going on, Alec?“ Magnus asked after the younger male closed the door behind them. And this time he was using the short version from his name, what told Alec that it was a serious issue right now and he needed to be worried.

„I have no idea what I should’ve told you, Magnus.“ Alec was starting and his voice sounded still calm but there was also something in his voice which told Magnus that he was overwhelmed. „It’s not like that it was always easy after my coming out. But with you… I finally felt happy like I never felt before. It’s like… I can finally be myself.“

„Yes yes. I know that, Alexander.“ Magnus said more calm while he came closer to the young shadowhunter and he cupped the cheeks from him. „But it’s this what makes everything so complicated. Our relationship… you being gay…“ the warlock was adding and had a sad smile on his lips.

„Do you want… Magnus… I can’t give this up… I can’t give us up. I love you!“ Alec was trying to bring out and his voice was close to break because all of his emotions were coming up in him. Also his hands started to shake because of all these feelings.

„Alexander…“ The warlock whispered before he came closer to the younger male and he was cupping the cheeks from Alec. His look was sad and he also had a sad smile on his face. „I can’t watch how you aren’t happy with what is happening at the clave…“ Actually not happy wasn’t the right words for Magnus. He knew now that all of this was torture and only because these shadowhunters were so homophobic.

„Magnus… I’m happy with you… I was never more happy… I… I don’t want to be apart from you… forget you…“ the young shadowhunter brought out and had already tears in his eyes. But on the inside he knew that it wasn’t necessary anymore to argue. Even he had no idea what he was going to do then. He was born as a shadowhunter… Alec doesn’t know something different. His whole life was training and hunting demons. And maybe it was scaring Alec that he was going in a future where he had no idea what this new life will bring.

But a hand on his left chest brought him out of his deep thoughts and he looked into the yellow cat eyes from Magnus what let him stop breathing for a moment. The unglamoured eyes from the warlock… how he loved them. Like everything else from him. „Alexander… you will never be apart of me. I will always be here.“ He whispered softly and what Magnus meant was that he will be always in the heart from Alec.

For Magnus was it also hard because he will remember the young shadowhunter and he won’t regret it. Because Alec was the only one he was ever truly happy and who he loved the most. But there was only this option before more can go wrong and he will lose his boyfriend.

Alec doesn’t want to forget Magnus… the only person he ever loved and who was so special for him. But maybe he won’t. Maybe ha can grip on something what he doesn’t let forget about him. „Okay… then… let’s do this…“ He said at the end and his voice was shaking. 

But no one was moving until it was the young shadowhunter who was grabbing the collar from the jacket from Magnus and he pulled him in a deep and passionate kiss. He maybe was never good in speaking about how he was truly feeling, but he was good in putting all this in his actions and also all this in the kiss.

„Please promise me to take care of yourself. Or I come back and make sure that you do!“ Alec whispered and showed again that he was more caring about the warlock then everyone else did in the past. And maybe that was the reason why this young male was so special for him. 

„I will promise you that, my sweet Alexander.“ The warlock whispered even if he couldn’t promise anything because he has no idea what was going to come. 

And after they were looking into the eyes from the other for a couple more minutes, just to be with them and without more words, they were deciding to go back to finally do this.

„Okay… how are we going to do this? Just stripping of my runes and then throw me on the street?“ Alec asked even if this sounded more harder then it actually should be. But the whole situation was also too much for him.

„No… I will change your memory like I did with Clary as she was a child.“ Magnus said slowly and swallowed hard. It will be a lot more complicated since Alec was a grown man and not a child anymore. But he will figure out how this was going to work because he doesn’t want to harm the younger male in any way. „You can trust us, Alexander. Nothing will happen to you. I also will put you to sleep when Jace is stripping of your runes.“ He was adding because he also doesn’t want to see his boyfriend in pain.

But the taller male was shaking with his head. And right now he doesn’t care that everyone was watching them. But he was touching the hand from the warlock before he whispered in a soft voice: „I want to see as long as possible because I don’t want to think about it living without you.“

These words totally surprised the warlock and he doesn’t know what to say for the first seconds but then he was nodding. Of course he could understand him. And Magnus also knew how strong this man was.

Then Magnus used magic to put everything in the living room aside to make more space before he summoned a special lounger on which one Alec was laying down after he put all of his cloth away except of his boxershorts to reveal all of his runes. On the inside he was scared and he doesn’t want to lose his whole life because he was also scared what was going to come next.

Jace felt actually the same. He clenched his jaw a few times because this was also hard for him… because he was losing his best friend and parabatai as well. But knowing he was getting treated was also hurting him. „Are you ready, buddy?“ The blond male asked then after he put a hand on the shoulder from Alec. And both men were sharing some eye contact as if they wanted to share their feelings through this and also through their bond. Then there was a nodding what was a sign for the younger man that he could start.

So was he taking out the special pen who was going to start glowing immediately. He stole it from the institute and this would help to erase the runes. Then after he took a deep breath, he was starting with the treatment and he started with the a small rune, which one was on the theigh from Alec.

And even Alec wasn’t making any sound of pain, Magnus could see what he was feeling and it was hurting him as well. But he wasn’t doing anything. Instead he wrapped an arm around Izzy, who was hiding her tears. But then she turned around and was hiding her face on the shoulder from Magnus to cry in silent. Of course the warlock was staying on the side from her. 

Until Clary was wrapping her arms around both to give them the comfort they needed. Of course the redhead young woman knew how much Alec meant for them. He was one of the important man in their lifes. And even if she and the dark haired shadowhunter never went along with each other, she knew that she will miss him and his sarcasm against her.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The whole procedere took a while. Because Jace wasn’t working so fast. Then it also meant for him that he was more and more losing his best friend and parabatai.

But even if Alec was strong and didn’t make any sound, Magnus knew how much in pain he was. Especially as Jace was starting to remove the deflect rune on the neck from Alec. Their both favorite spots. The warlock was now imagine it to never kiss this spot anymore and it broke his heart. And maybe this was the reason why he moved his hand and used magic to put the young shadowhunter asleep.

„He is in pain but couldn’t show us. He had argued with me if I had said something. But it was for the best.“ Magnus said after he swallowed hard because this wasn’t easy for him. Of course he also couldn’t break down right now. Alec probably had wanted that he would stay strong. Also for the young shadowhunters.

Then the warlock noticed something. Jace stopped in his work. Right in that moment, as there was only one rune to go. It was the parabatai rune and everyone noticed how the hands from Jace were shaking. More then before.

And even if Izzy had still tears in her eyes, she went over to the male and put a hand on the shoulder from him. And there was only a look in which one was understanding. Like siblings would understand each other. Jace let it happen that Izzy took the device and he left the room.

Clary wanted to follow him but Magnus stopped her only to shake with his head. „Jace wants to be alone now. Isabelle is taking the parabatai rune and she will also disappear on him. He will be in a lot of pain.“ He was explaining the young woman and he understood the pain from Jace. Because he also understood their bond. Probably the blond male won’t be the same anymore as well.

It also took a moment for Izzy until he started to remove the last rune and also until it was finally done.

„What is going to happen with him now? He can’t stay here in New York.“ Somehow the dark haired young woman was afraid of this the most. Knowing that his brother was still running around in this city but she can’t approach him.

Magnus was biting his teeth hard before he came closer to the unconcious body. He was touching the naked shoulder from Alec one more time and it felt like a last intimate moment between them. Even when the young shadowhunter doesn’t felt it right now.

Then he put his hand on the forehead from Alec just to let his magic start to spread through the head from him. He was going to take all the memories from the shadowworld… and also from him. And he was replacing these memories with some new ones. 

And after the warlock took a deep breath, he let both of his hands work and a wave of magic came out o fit. Only to let the body disappear.

„Where did you send him?“ Clary asked and was more then confused right now. „To a friend in Munich. I will send him a message soon. I can trust him and I know that he will keep an eye on Alec when I ask him to do that.“

And with this the conversation and all this was over for him. He was close to breaking down and knew that he needed a few strong drinks and also probably to get drunk. That was the reason why he was sending both of the young female shadowhunter out of his loft in one of his usually nice manner before he locked the door with his magic. Then he was shoving down on the wall and now it was him that he struggled to breath.

Because Magnus Bane knew that he lost his boyfriend only because oft he repressed clave.

„I hope you are going to be treated good where you are now and you are going to live your new dreams, my dear Alexander.“ Magnus whispered while single tears were rolling out of his eyes.


End file.
